urbanwebkat

My kid is such a character. We had a Thanksgiving recital today. His preschool class had to sing a song where each kid had to shout out what they were most thankful for...all the kids are saying 'mommy', 'daddy' and 'parents'. When it gets to my son, he shouts out 'chicken'.

I guess mom and dad rate below his tummy. :P

For those of you that live in Florida, like me, you might be interested to know that you can attached emergency contact information via your drivers license. All you have to do is go to https://www6.hsmv.state.fl.us/dlcheck/findcustomer and enter your drivers license and birthdate. Then they'll ask for your contact's name, address and phone numbers. Then if you get in an accident, police will beable to notify your emergency contact.

It has been almost a month since I got my papers signed, and I can honestly say that there are no regrets. In fact between getting the papers signed and getting a new car (yes, I finally turned in the hunk of junk and got myself a 2005 Toyota Corolla), that my mood has improved dramatically. I find myself waking up with a smile on my face and little things don't seem to get to me as much as they did.

It's weird. A divorce is just some legal mambo jumbo...a piece of paper that legally acknowledges you're no longer married. However, that little piece of paper has seemed to have a major impact on me. Hmmm, maybe I'm more traditional than I thought. :P

So what brought on this line of thought? I was driving this morning and one of the channels was talking about Divorce Party Planner. Apparently, it's now vogue to throw yourself or throw a friend a divorce party. Hmmm, I was just hoping to drag mariness to the Melting Pot...oh, and just like a wedding planner, this site offers resources for contacting a divorce party planner (hmmm, I wonder if they cost as much as a wedding planner).

I was shifting through my usual reads this morning when I came across this wonderful commentary on Ellen Burstyn's nomination for the Emmys for 14 seconds of work. I've thought for years that the award shows were nothing more than fluff but really, that's seriously pathetic.

Just my 2 cents anyway. :P

Well, it's been a while since I've posted...mainly because I haven't really had much to say. I've been neck deep in my life and haven't felt like whining about it...hence the silence. But something funny happened today at work and I feel the need to share.

My boss had a speaking engagement last night at Florida Atlantic University, so he asked one of my minions to update the website with a link to www.fau.edu. The minion...being the rather dim soul that he is, created the link to www.fau.org. Now if you look at both sites, you will see that they differ quite a lot. One is a link to a university located in Boca. The other is a link to some German labor union. Very, very different.

Not to bash the Jewish community, but my boss, who's Jewish, immediately starts going off on how my minion has linked him to a Neo Nazi website...hello! It's German, not Neo Nazi...at least I don't think it is based on what I could translate to English using a handy dandy free online tool. It irritated me that he immediately assumed it was Nazi related because it was in German and had words like 'chaos' on it.

On an SEO Note: Companies out there...if you have a domain name that you love and don't want to have annoying problems like this crop up, please buy all the extensions to your domain name, or you may risk what FAU is risking. :P

I was going online to check my bank account when low and behold, my bank account went in the negatives yesterday. I was a little confused because while I made a cash deposit after 5pm (which is their cut off time for same day deposits), I didn't make any purchases until approximately 8pm that evening. When I called my banking rep to ask them what was going on, I found out something disturbing...( Read more... )

Hmmm, I've discovered something today. Diphenhydramine affects me like valium...I'm drowsy, numb and all together not giving a crap about the world around me. My boss is all hyper about something and I'm like 'okay, whatever' mode.

Here's to drug induced apathy! I would discuss this wonderful state more but I have to get back to work...there's no rest for the damned. :P

Yes. I'm in hell. It's hot, noisy and there is a distinct smell of sulfur in the air. :P

Hehe, well, okay, I'm stretching it, I know but this whole 're-roofing all the buildings in my complex' is getting really annoying. I got in at 9:00am, just as the workmen were starting the wonderful ritual of tearing up the tile on the roof above me. The building next door already had it's tile removed so they're tarring it. I can't get that damn sulfur smell out of my nose. It's just there, torturing my sinus cavity, causing my eyes to water and my skin to itch (I have a minor allergy versus sulfur). My pregnant co-worker has the AC turned off cause she's 'cold'. And my demonic boss is standing over me with a whip and slave driving (okay...he's not 'standing' over me and there's no whip but you get the picture.)

The only thing we're missing is the screams of the damned...hmmm, I wonder. If I just start randomly screaming, do you think that would rattle my boss? Or just add to his sadistic enjoyment.

Disclaimer: My boss is not a sadistic bastard, he just has an annoying Type A personality that lives to work and works to live. Most days we love him...more importantly we love the paycheck he provides but there are just some days the 'go, go, go' mantra is really irritating.

My grandfather is in the hospital again...some type of blood infection and there was an amputation scare because his leg, which is where the infection started, swelled up rather alarmingly. Between this and attending 2 shivas this past week, I'm feeling pretty drained.

Took my little one to Wannadoo City. For those of you not familiar with this theme park:

At Wannado City, kids can be whatever they want to be – right now. From paleontologist to news reporter, to everything in between, kids try out tons of grown-up jobs in the first indoor city just their size. They can operate on a patient, cook up a pizza or even solve a crime. Wannado City, where kids can do what they Wannado!™ http://www.wannadocity.com

My toddler loved it! We were there for 4 hours and my little guy was running non-stop. Now from the adult perspective, here's my review of this theme park.

Overview: Over all, a wonderful experience. I ended up feeling jealous that they didn't have this when I was a kid.

Favorite Job: Fireman...it was very well done. They get to go down a slide, put on the 'fireman' gear, run over to a building that's 'on fire' and use the hoses on the fire truck to put it out. My kid loved it so much that we did it twice.

Worst Job: Policeman...it was pure chaos. The kids show up, they section off one group into police and the other into villians and then let them loose. Now the older kids can grasp this, but my little one was completely confused on what he should be doing. And the play between the kids got a little rough when they were 'arresting' their suspects.

Other highlights: Each time your kid does a 'job', he gets fake money that he can spend in the park or deposit in the bank. While this concept mostly went over my kid's head. It was very funny to watch him finish a job and then go to the person in charge of the ride and demand his payment.

I was watching my son watching a movie this morning...a past time almost more entertaining than the movie. He's got such an expressive face. It lights up when something funny happens and he giggles there, rolling on the couch. When some scary happens, he puts his hands over his ears...but still keeps watching it. Every once in a while, he'll look at me and ask a question, if he's not sure what's happening on the screen but otherwise he's completely immersed in the world created on the tv.

He gets it honestly...I tend to be the same way. Whether it's watching a romantic movie or an action flick, I tend to leave this world and do more than watch the movie, I feel it.

I had to take my dog to the vet today. Basically over the last month, her digestive issues have gotten bad. Diarrhea, vomiting and weight loss. We tried switching her to an easily digestible food. The vet has run fecal and blood tests...all which came back fine. So now we're looking into the possibility that my dog has Exocrine Pancreatic Insufficiency (EPI).

It's not as scary as it sounds. This condition is common in German Shepards, Collies and English Setters...my dog is a Shepard/Collie mix so she's getting it on both sides. It's a genetic defect that they're born with that can take 6 months to 1 year before manifesting. Once it does, she will have to go on a therapy to help her digest her food.

I'll find out in 5 days if she has it. That's how long it takes to get the test back.

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03/05/06 Update

Well I got the call from the vet. She doesn't have it! Yeah!

Yesterday, I was amusing a co-worker with the pet psychic story. My boss comes up, and being the nosy man he is asks what's up. I tell him the story...and it flops. Apparently while I think that visiting pet psychic to find out what my dog is thinking is off the wall, my boss doesn't. In fact, he apparently has consulted one in the past for his dog.

My reaction was split. I was torn between laughing at him and wanting the floor to swallow me up. Now, I love my dog. I pamper her, take her to doggie daycare twice a week to keep her socialized, and basically treat her more like a family member than a pet...but I don't think I would ever take my dog to counseling...that's just odd. At least in my book.

Well I got to meet one of my new neighbors yesterday. She's a thirty-something, transplanted New Yorker that's been living in Florida for the last 10 years. She dropped by to ask me if some SUV was mine, and it wasn't but we got to talking...cause she's real friendly.

Besides exchanging brief life histories, she gave me her thoughts on South Florida men. Apparently according to this self-proclaimed guru of South Florida culture, there are absolutely no good heterosexual men in South Florida. They are all jerks. She blames the transient nature of the state...it apparently only attracts losers, layabouts and abusive fuckers. (Yes, I'm using her words.) Her survey data was gathered by herself and other female friends that she's met over the years. Her recommendation for me was to leave the state if I wanted to find a good man.

When I advised her that my circumstances would stop me from leaving Florida anytime soon, she offered to give me the addresses of some local adult stores so that I would have an outlet for my feminine needs. I managed to thank her for her kind advice and waited till I got back in the house before laying on the couch and laughing.

I have to say, the encounter overall was extremely amusing. I was feeling a little bummed and depressed over the weekend and she made my day.

I ran into a pet psychic today. I was walking at a local fair and there was a woman there that claims she can talk to animals. She looked at my dog and me, and told me:

1) We're soul sisters
2) That I make my dog very happy
3) I should probably leave the park because my dog was looking overheated

I took her advice...on #3 that is. My dog was looking overheated so we went home. And for some idiotic reason the whole encounter put a smile on my face. It made me feel really good to get validation that I make someone happy, even if it's from a potentially demented person.

For all of you that frequently talk to me online, I am sorry but life as I know it has been very busy as of late. I've been helping a very good friend out of a sticky situation which has led me to help her move, set her up in my guest bedroom temporarily and basically be a good friend.

I would have posted something sooner, but as busy as I have been it didn't occurred to me until our walk last night. Then it hit me, ouch, I've been a bad kid and not told anyone where I was. So that's the facts boys and girls. I'm a busy bee off doing a good deed.

On a completely other note, I'm scoring big on erectile dysfunction terms! My SEO is hot today!

Yes you heard me...today's topic is flooding. More specifically, my used washer having a catastrophic failure of sorts and flooding my apartment with water. So yours truly spent the evening mopping up the small lake that gathered on my floor (okay I'm exaggerating here...it was more like an inch of standing water but still very stressful). My son by the way, found his mother's distress very amusing and half of the cleanup effort was spent telling him to stay out of the water and get back into bed.

I have a friend coming over tonight to help me figure out what's wrong with the beast. I'm thinking it's one of the hoses but I won't know till I pull the washer out and look behind. So keep your fingers crossed for me otherwise it's going to be coin laundry for a little bit.

Okay...normally I don't single out a particular sector out, but when the gross level of incompetence reaches to the point where I'm ready to throw myself under a bus rather than deal with the plethora of tech issues going on with my Dell laptop, I have to say something...I have to speak for all of us who mistakenly bought a Dell and is now being torture by their outsourcing efforts.

Outsourcing? Yes...I'm speaking specifically of Dell's warranty services that are outsourced to local providers. Now I'm not saying that all the on-site techs that work for Dell are incompetent, but the stunning displays of idiocy I've been inflicted with over the last week has shown me that Dell or their outsourcing companies aren't too picky on who they hire.

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I had just finished taking my son out of his bath, when he announced to me that...and I quote:

"I'm going to kill you and runaway so the popos (sp?) don't get me."

I was rather stunned at the statement and could only respond by telling him that killing me would be a rather difficult task. I am after all much bigger than my four year old and the logistics on his part would be a nightmare. Kidding aside, I found myself quietly freaking out and calling a few friends so they could laugh with me and make me feel better, but I still slept fitfully. It doesn't help that my son has successfully gotten into the knife drawer and lined up the cutlery on the kitchen table, earlier last week.

This morning, when I talked to my mom, she pointed out that 'popos' (police for those of you that aren't up on your American slang) isn't a normal term for him and he probably heard it somewhere. And he was saying it to get a reaction. She assured me that I had threatened my older brother with death many times as we were growing up and as we can see, he's still walking around. So for now, I'm going to take off my over-reacting mom hat and try not to let my son's morbid thoughts get to me.

I am a proud member of the run with scissors club. That's right, I carry dangerous implements in my hands and run down the corridors, metaphorically speaking. Basically, I tend to run into emotionally dangerous situations without looking at them first. My reality tester is broken...at least that's what my therapist tells me.

What is a reality tester? Well apparently most human beings are born with this innate bullshit detector that rings when other people tell them stuff that is utterly ridiculous or not based on fact. For example, my ex once told me that he would do anything for his family...later, failed by example by turning down a decently paying job with benefits because it wasn't something that he wanted to do (hence proving that he wouldn't do anything for his family). Mind you, I have many examples...but for the sake of others I will keep these points of idiocy to myself. Note: My reality tester isn't just broken when it comes to loved ones, I can't seem to sense bullshit when it comes to friends either.

So how do I fix this? Well I'm going to therapy and somehow this is suppose to help me with this. But if my reality tester is broken, how will I tell? I might just be doomed to run with scissors for the rest of my life? Which let me tell you is a scary thing because I'm clumsy and foresee lot's of ouchies in the future. Or I could just lock myself in a emotional closet and refuse to run at all. Hmmm, tough decisions folks.